Why Most Entrepreneur Advice Comes from the Wrong People

The majority of advice and stories you're going to hear if you think it is starting something, whether it is a business or a side hustle, so I'm going to be told from the perspective of someone who succeeded. They're going to talk about the autonomy, the freedom, the fulfillment. They might even share some of the struggles they went through, but ultimately it's fraying around the story of them making it. And while that can be great and inspiring, it's not the only story. It's not the only possible outcome. It's not the only emotion that those of us who take the risk go through. And I want to talk about what it's like in the moment, because when people don't see that, when they only see the glamorized version of it, everything else becomes an unknown. And there's a reason we don't walk into the cave or open the door when we don't know what's on the other side because it's overwhelming. That's why a lot of people don't start businesses. There's just so much unknown that they just don't think it's going to be worth it or that they can risk their security and stability. Now that people do jump in, they see the glamorized version, and they think, yeah, it's going to be simple. Then when they encounter some sort of hardship, a setback, some sort of self-doubt, they think that they're alone. That they must not be cut out for the success that they always dreamt of because they weren't instantly in the private jet or having the fancy cars. But there is a middle ground. You know, everyone who has ever tried to start something has had all the range of emotions from fear, anxiety, doubt, anger, and some of us have managed to see the other side. You know, I am an aspiring entrepreneur right now, but I've been a successful entrepreneur in the past. I built and sold a business that gave me the freedom to do this. But this right now, this isn't a success story. I can't tell you that this is going to lead me where I want to go, but I can talk about what it's like while I'm in it. You know, right now at this moment, I'm a year-in, almost a year, of trying to build something new. Trying to build a channel, a community, something where I help people and I meet people who want to start businesses and work for themselves. But even after a year, I can't tell you whether I am on a collision course with failure, or whether I'm just a stepper two away from finally succeeding. I have absolutely no idea, and that's terrifying. So today I'm just going to share with you the emotions that I'm going through while I admit it, the fear, the doubt, the frustration, the genuine anger I have, and hopefully it inspires someone else not to go after the glamorized version of it, but just to know that they're not alone, or to know that, yeah, that's going to be something I can handle. I'm willing to take that risk if the upside is the freedom and autonomy that I ultimately wanted. As I said, I started this channel a year ago after selling my business. I gave myself at the time six months. I said in six months, I might not be making as much money as I was making before, which is multiple six figures, but I'd be well on my way. And in that time, I've made a few dollars, and I don't even mean that in a dismissive way. I've literally made a few dollars. I don't have any real traction. I don't understand why this isn't working. Now, I am clearly building a channel that may not be relevant and relatable to everybody, but it's still a business. And when you start a business, you assume there's going to be a learning curve, but if you believe and you're got that your idea is right, or that you have some value to bring, you assume that you're going to keep getting better and learning things and adjusting from there. But if you're like me right now in this experience where everything I try has the same ton result, I feel like I'm stuck in first year. I feel like even though a whole year has passed, I'm still at the starting line. Nothing has shown me any results, so I'm not building up on little successes I have. I'm just starting over every day, and that is exhausting. It's something that has happened before, even starting a software company in the past, we built something we thought was great, and the same product that ultimately did succeed, people dismissed for months. It thought that it was just a nice to have. They thought that it was a little clunky. And which did trust our guy. In that moment, we kept moving forward and ultimately is succeeded, but now I'm questioning and doubting myself wondering, am I delusional because of a past success? You know, that's a real problem entrepreneurs have. You've done something before that worked, and you did it by just ignoring the criticisms and critiques about our people. You believed in yourself and you're gut, but if you do that too much, is it problematic? That's what I'm kind of frustrated with right now. I'm also ashamed of the lack of progress. You know, I was a professional. When I started this channel, I thought my niche was success, telling people how to thrive in their careers, how to start and grow businesses creatively. And I still think that that is what I'm aiming for. But it's harder and harder to do that when the new thing you're creating isn't hitting the notes you want to hit. You know, it's one thing to make a video in your private jet about how you can teach someone to make millions, but when you're making a video in your house about how you just need 100 more subscribers or 200 more to make monetization to finally get a little bit of money, well, that doesn't sound like someone who's successful, but it is, or at least it's someone who has demonstrated repeatedly that they can succeed. And that's what I tell myself, but the doubt that I'm experiencing is starting to over well, not at times. Not so much that I'll quit, but quitting is another fear I have. And quitting is a fear that is tied with so many other complex emotions, you know, shame, fear, regret. I know a lot of people that start things that ultimately don't work feel such shame going back to a nine to five asking for a job at a place they maybe walked away from or they end up taking a emotion because they feel like they'd been out of the workforce. I have those same fears, but I also have other fears. I'm a parent, I'm 46 years old, and I've spent the last 13 years, well, this is 13, talking about how they can think differently about work and life, how they can make the future they want, if they're just willing to take some risks, and they saw me live it firsthand with my last business. I think my kids were probably six and four when it started and they watched it grow, and they were so proud of me, they would talk about it, they'd wear the swag. And when I started this, I said, hey, you know, Daddy's going to do something big again. I'm going to try to build something myself, just watch, I'll show you that if you just stick with it, it'll succeed. And not only do I have the fear of just it not working out and what that's going to mean for me professionally, but now I have this added weight of my kids seeing that. You know, I don't want them to be scared to start things because, yeah, not everything does work out, but I am a confidence driven person. That's how I parent. It's how I kind of approach the world. And I don't know how I'll properly communicate to them or inspire them when they have an idea to take that lead, if in the back of their mind, what they're really hearing is, well, yeah, it's great advice to add. Remember that thing you did that didn't work out? I'm also experiencing so much frustration and I guess is probably a matter of word. One of the things that most of us do when we're stuck in first gear, when we're trying to figure out what's going to make a business work is we just keep trying new things. I genuinely think I've done the right thing and I've talked to people who say, no, you look like you're doing the right thing. I don't understand. I can't understand why your videos don't have more views, why more people aren't on your newsletter, visiting your website. And that is incredibly frustrating. When you have on one hand, people saying this looks like the beginning of something successful, but the stats telling you that it's not, that is incredibly angry. You have two choices. You just stick with it. You push yourself further. You start feeling more doubt and more shame about your lack of success or you completely throw away whatever you were doing and you try something new again. And I've probably done that more times and I should have. Maybe that's why I'm stuck in first gear. Maybe it's because I've tried to change my approach. How many videos I make, whether I focus on a community or anything else, rather than just from day one saying, I need to get great at doing this and I'm going to stay true to the very first idea I had. I don't know what's right. And that's part of the confusion and the anxiety that comes into it. You know, starting something is worth it. I love the freedom. I still like the risk and the excitement that I have around this taking off. But I don't know whether or not I should keep doing it. You know, it hasn't been six months. It's been a year. I can go another year and a half. I can go two years. I could go a little bit more because I have some freedom. But I can't go 30 years. You know, pivoting is a strong asset. If you know when to pivot, how to pivot. But if you're pivoting forever and you never get anywhere, then is that a good thing? I don't know. That's where I'm at. That's the reality of starting this for me right now. You know, I'm still optimistic. I'm still excited to turn on the camera every day and talk about what I'm doing. I'm still experimenting maybe too much by trying to refine what the algorithm thinks my channel is about how I do thumbnails, how I make these videos. And I'm not planning on quitting anytime soon, but I'm experiencing all of those emotions that make me wonder if I should. And all those things stack together to make this scary. But I like scary. You know, one of the reasons that I'm chasing it isn't just for the fulfillment or the freedom of the autonomy. I had a lot of that. But I'm chasing it because I like things that are scary and difficult. I like the unknown. I'm someone that would probably walk through the door. But as I said, someone as you walk through and it's a horror movie and you're the first to go. So I don't know what's going to come next. I don't know what I can do differently. I don't understand why what I'm doing is less valuable than other people. You know, I know that I have a unique life experience. I know that I'm a talker. I don't think that I look bad on camera, but for some reason it's not working. And for now, I'm going to keep experimenting. I keep trying new things. But I wanted to put this out there so that other people that were thinking of starting, that were starting and feeling like they were the only ones not succeeding to know that you're not alone. You know, you can reach out to me anytime. Drop some comments, share it with each other, share it with me. Use the link in the descriptions. I just have coffee and talk with people on Fridays. No, they're not alone. No, that there is a chance of this succeeding. Yeah, I might be on a collision course with failure. But as I said, I might just be a step or two away. I'm going to keep trying to make YouTube understand me. I'm going to keep trying to make videos that I've valued other people. I'm going to keep pouring my heart out and being honest about the failures and the dark times and hopefully that ends up working.